I was a candle — Ratmas 2015: Bad Jokes Never Die

Ratmas 2015: Bad Jokes Never Die

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Welcome to the ground floor of the hot new Ratmas 2015 ~~Megathread~~ uhh, Tumblr post?, for all your ratmas 2015 needs and wants.

What’s a Ratmas???
In 2013, I decided it would be funny to get a bunch of people to send rats to Alexis Kennedy on the 7th of December, because 7 is The Number and I’d basically been sending rats for an entire frickin’ year. This let to many rats being sent. Many ballads and poems were created to commemorate this event, and it was generally considered to be one of the most life-changing events of the 3rd millennium.
It is no longer 2013, and it’s no longer possible to send Alexis Kennedy rats, due to the creation of the Accepting No Further Rats quality. This was considered to be one of the most tragic events of the 3rd millennium. Nevertheless, Ratmas abides, because if you can do something once it’s worth carrying forward that memory for the rest of eternity. or something like that, anyhow

Okay, but do you have, like, any news or anything?
Well, nothing major. Unfortunately, I’ve been busy as all heck for the past few months, so I haven’t got anything cool to announce like “yo i made a 30000 word goofy nonsense Twine game”. I mean, I wish I did, but I don’t. I did a few things, though!

I have (finally, finally) made another update to Rat Sending Simulator 2k15, henceforth to be known as Rat Sending Simulator 20XX because otherwise i’d have to spend ten seconds of effort every year changing the damn thing. You can now frick yourself up in the Bee Zone’s Gene Pool. If you don’t know what that means, you should send rats harder. I wanted to do more stuff, but I ran out of time, and some of it probably feels a bit rushed around the edges. Still, go hog wild! If you’ve never played Rat Sending Simulator 20whatever, now is as good a time as any. Don’t consider this the Final Update or anything, I may well get the urge to just add a bunch of stuff one day on a whim. It’s happened before. Do note that I haven’t had the chance to test any of this at all, so if it doesn’t work, I am terribly sorry.

On the Twine game front, I have even less to report. Postman Apocalypse is 99% the same as it was last year, but I’ve uploaded it somewhere else and added a bit of stuff to the Christmas Card ending. As a result, the Christmas Card Machine is now at least 2x larger than it was before, and it was frickin huge before.

You can play Postman Apocalypse Here on itch.io or Here on philome.la

You can play the seperate Christmas Card generator Here on itch.io or Here on philome.la

Okay!!!!!!!!!!!! But I don’t care about any of that, I want to send rats to people
Fortunately, sending rats is all about what Rat Sending Simulator is all about. I know what you mean, though; Ratmas just isn’t the same without people to send rats in the post to, in Fallen London, making the poor postmen suffer even further and probably driving a few of them to succumb to the Pull and embark for Nuncio. It’s a tradition!

While sending Alexis rats is impossible, there are fortunately quite a few Failbetterers who are not Alexis. You can instead send them rats, which is like sending rats to Alexis in spirit. Kinda. In a pinch, cats will also suffice, because you can turn a cat into a rat by rubbing out a bit of the c.

I don’t remember if sending Rats of Glory is limited by Accepting No Further Rats or not, but if you’ve got one, they’re a very powerful gift.

BONUS: THE GREAT RATMAS-CHRISTMAS CHEER ENDEAVOUR
It’s possible to send Christmas cards to anyone you want, wherever they happen to be, regardless of whether or not you’re acquainted. This Ratmas, I feel we should send some holiday cheer to a poor, neglected, forgotten soul, whose name is often misremembered, who bears the weight of many menaces, day-by-day. I am, of course, talking about none other than Mr Eaten.

Send the poor fella your Christmas cards. The thought’s what counts. If you don’t have any cards, that’s okay! It doesn’t have to be today. As long as you don’t postpone it indefinitely, everything’s fine.

fallen london ratmas